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Mod cons

09/01/2019

Now here’s a sign of the times.

Clocky from Hell

“Rest easy. He will get you up.”

An alarm clock named ‘Clocky’ who will evade your attempts to switch him off and run around the floor screaming until you get up and hand your day over to him and all the other time-slicers that rightly own it. Or you can stumble blearily in pursuit as he lures you into traffic; if the promotional video is anything to go by. This is because almost 50% of people have become ‘snooze abusers’ and must be eliminated.

I wonder how many heart attack and stroke victims will have their final moments sound-tracked by Clocky’s merciless attempts to goad them from their deathbeds.

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From → unclassified

4 Comments
  1. Why is your blog “ad supported” — this is visually very distracting, and irritating in general…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Entropy.

      Because I don’t pay the WordPress ransom to have them removed. There weren’t any when I chose WP over other platforms that had them and since they’ve slipped them in I’ve been too lazy to change.

      I’m not about to pay for the privilege of avoiding ads. I’ve read too many speculative dystopias built on that business model. I use adblockers myself, but I guess that doesn’t help my blog readers. Part of the reason I have so much trouble using WP ‘likes’ and comment boxes now is because of the hyper-vigilant plug-ins defending my browser from marketing malware. A bit like my wetware immune system I guess. And my personality. Hmm.

      But despite my ad-blockers and ‘no TV’ and ‘no radio’ and ‘no alarm clock’ and ‘no wristwatch’ and ‘won’t carry a cellphone’ I don’t think I’m really kidding myself.
      I know that even if I don’t get Clocky, Clocky will still get me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m being a bit unfair to Clocky. I recognise he’s an innovative research tool with applications in both medicine and the insurance industry.

    It’s well established that sleep hygiene problems are linked to serious health conditions, both causally and as diagnostic indicators. However current ethical guidelines preclude comprehensive data collection from humans under controlled laboratory conditions.

    By marketing a device to deal with symptoms of dysfunctional sleep habits, without examining their underlying cause, it should be possible to use Clocky sales as proxies for untreated sleep problems, compare them with changes in mortality and morbidity due to accident, cardiovascular disease, metabolic disorders, etc and draw out epidemiological connections between inadequate sleep and early death.

    More research is clearly needed.

    Like

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