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If you’ve got it …


What is psychosis anyway?

What mix of extreme mood, altered perception, hallucinations and delusional thinking do you need to cook a full blown psychotic episode? Does it count if it doesn’t upset other people? What if it doesn’t upset you? What if you want it?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not selling mental illness. It’s nasty. There’s plenty of scars on my body and mind to remind me of that. I’m only writing this because I’m lousy at killing myself. It’s the secret of my survival.

Fuck it! I’m here for the ride. I am the ride. Being crazy makes it interesting. Except the bits where you stare at a wall and don’t think anything for ages. Isn’t wanting to die part of life? Elation. Misery. Terror. Ecstasy. Why not check out all the attractions?

Maybe I’ve learned from being nuts. About me. About my world. About reality. Or maybe I’m deluded again. Grandiose to boot. It’s sort of a mystery and sort of a tragedy and sort of a comedy but they call it a pathology. Worth the price of entrance? Or exit? Fucked if I know. It’s all I know.

I like horror movies. I guess I’m a happy customer. Can’t imagine being happier. They say that’s a symptom.

  1. Life.. A game of
    Some folks go further….


    • Sounds scary.

      I’d better stay safe and snug under my diagnoses.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hehe..
        What’s that..
        Part of Bi-polar
        Also.. in
        My ‘case’
        Deed that
        Can be scary
        Leaves the
        Room and
        Hope is
        No longer
        And the
        Thoth Tarot
        Card for Fool
        Comes Incarnate
        Again as
        For true


  2. Hey, hope you are doing well.

    I invite you to read a post of mine where I am gathering links of warriors facing mental health challenges 1st hand to educate people, to raise awareness and acceptance.

    I need help from you in fighting stigma.

    Here is the link to post..

    Your participation can change life of someone.

    Thank you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comment. I’m grateful for your good wishes and flattered to be called a ‘warrior’ who may be able to help with stigma issues.

      But as a warrior I’m leery of going into battle without a well defined strategy – even though strategies rarely survive a battle – and while I can laud your ambition to address the stigma against those carrying psychiatric labels I’m not sure how collecting posts and URLs from bloggers who identify as mentally ill will do that. For example, while some of my own blogposts might meet approval from those with similar experiences of the mental health system, I suspect they’d tend to reinforce the prejudices and stereotypes held by those most likely to stigmatise us crazies.

      So I will decline your invitation for now, though I’ll try to keep an eye on how your initiative develops and may change my position later.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I am glad you asked it helped me revisit my own idea behind it.

        I will summarize things a little here.

        our dad was already under stress as he lost his wife and father both last year. i suggest you read this post for detail..

        in our part of world (I live between UAE & Pakistan) there is serious lack of education and acceptance. when his condition went out of control on 24th April exactly majority of people labeled him “possessed”.

        thanks to my siblings (2 dentists and 1 student of doctorate in pharmacy) they rushed him to psychiatric ward. where he got diagnosed PTSD Bipolar and Psychosis.

        I myself have little or no knowledge about all of this I have literally married my anxiety now.

        so I started this whole thing. gathering links of people living with these illnesses so that when people who have no idea (like me) read it at least they know ITS REAL! and it can happen to anyone.

        the whole idea is to bridge the gap between 1in4 and rest of the 3.

        it starts from education. and what better than people living with these conditions.

        I am really glad you asked. its completely upto you if you want to join or not. 🙂

        thanks again.

        Liked by 1 person

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