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Getting it


Have I mentioned I’m fundamentally clueless? I just don’t know what’s going on. Whenever I try to stretch my head around reality something breaks. If I sound like I know what I’m talking about you can be pretty sure I’ve got it wrong. I’m even ignorant of what I don’t know.

I’ve tried attacking the problem with philosophy and poetry and social struggle and drugs and stories and sex and self destruction and practice and cynicism and relationships and humour and apathy and music and more belief systems that I can count; but I never get close to understanding anything.

I can still myself, open my mind and let it all in. Like a firehose. And it blows me and any hope of comprehension completely away. I mean fuck, will you look at it? Now! Now! Now! Pow! Pow! Pow! From the everlasting instant right to your face. The unfolding miracle of the eternal moment. Understand that? Ha!

Maybe it’s all a joke. I don’t get it because I am it.

From → confusion, narcissism

  1. The more I try to understand what the fuck is going on, the deeper hole gets. Its like reality is made up of endless facades that are finished off and nicely decorated a whole lot of filthy, straggling, tangled loose ends dangling in back of them and when you get through that mess more nicely decorated fronts with mangled, dangling, non sequitur tangents in endless layers. Turns out people are pretty good at making a random mess look like a story with a plot and character development when actually its just stuff happens and then more stuff happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, that’s the problem with unbounded mystery. No matter how much of it you nail to your preferred templates for systematisation and explanation you’ve still got unbounded mystery left running wild.


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