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A little ray of sunshine

24/10/2015

Sunshine Blogger Award

I’ve been slack. I’ve got excuses. Us slackers always do. It’s part of the job description.

I’ve been sick. Muddle-headed by medications. Exhausted by allergies. Distracted by drugs. My toe hurts too.

Then there’s the computer problems. My geriatric PC finally carked it about two months ago. I had to port all my files over to a new machine with a different operating system. And the OS itself! Yet another example of Microsoft malware masquerading as system software.

I blame Jamie at Vacancy of Mind. She nominated me for a blogging award for chrissakes. A surefire recipe for writer’s block. As if that wasn’t enough, she even asked about my favourite music. Of all time! So I’m left with the massive task of trying to trim thousands of fantastic songs by hundreds of brilliant artists down to something that fits into a blogpost. What do you suppose happens when I try to decide. Well I have to fire up the sound system and recheck the tracks don’t I? Then more of them. And more … So instead of writing a polite and grateful post accepting her generous offer of a Sunshine Blogger Award I spend the whole day listening to wonderful music. What a terrible thing to do to an addict.

But the real reason I’ve taken so long getting around to accepting the award is because I’m slack. That’s the beauty of being a slacker. It’s the only excuse you ever need.

Still, there’s a few things I have to do before I can put the Sunshine Blogger Award on my blog. I already thanked Jamie. And told her it might be a day or two until I met the other requirements. That was three months ago. See what a dedicated procrastinator I am. It takes a lot of motivation to be so unmotivated. But I’ve still go to answer her questions, nominate other bloggers for the award and think up something really evil to ask them, though it’ll be hard to top Jamie’s torturous mind twisters. Then to complete their humiliation I’ve got to tell them what I’ve done to them. Blogging is a blood-sport you know.

Alright, I’m through with finding distractions and delays. It’s become too much like hard work. Heck, after three months it’s practically a career. So as the sages say, “Hey, ho! Let’s go!”.

1. Do you have any particular muse when you write?

No.

There, that was easy wasn’t it? Too easy. It must be a trick.

Hmm. What if I’m supposed to tell the truth? Will The Curse of the Sunshine Blogger Award fall upon me, reducing my body to a mass of melanoma? After all, blogging awards are a lot like chain letters and we all know what happens if you cross one of those. Well, we don’t know really. We’re too scared to break the chain and find out.

OK, OK. I confess. I do have a muse. It’s music and nature and spirituality and emotions and goddesses and ex-girlfriends and bad jokes and worse journalism and drugs and science and psychiatry and prisons and politics and injustice and sex and suffering and madness and death and death and death and death and death … Yeah, that’s right. I’m inspired by the deranged gyrations of my own mind. I’m my own onanistic muse. Very amusing, no?

2. What is your all-time favorite playlist, or just a song that you enjoy?

This is the toughie. I enjoy heaps of songs. A lot. If you click on ‘music‘ in the tag cloud you might see how much it preoccupies me. My first post was inspired by a song. Come to think of it, the The Last Post is pretty moving too.

When it comes to music I’m a serial obsessive. I become totally enthralled by an artist or band for days, weeks or months only to shift my complete attention to another that catches my ear. Right now it’s the Korean traditional/rock crossover band Jambinai.

Slow burn tracks like Connection are probably Jambinai at their most accessible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aik3JRXud6Q
But it’s their hardcore numbers like Time of Extinction that blow my socks off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6ABpjyc1Gs
Gangnam Style it ain’t. Jambinai is the antithesis of K-pop.

But as someone who came of age in 70s Australia it’s not recorded music but live rock ‘n’ roll that made me the mess I am today. Hard, loud, raw and confrontational. Not music you dance to. Music that grabs you by the throat and throws you across the room. A good night out ends with me deaf, exhausted, bruised, bleeding, blissful and utterly spent.

When I started going to gigs about forty years ago I soon noticed a pattern. The bands I loved the most claimed to have been influenced by a then obscure Detroit group that had self-destructed a few years earlier. I thought I’d better check ’em out so I searched the indie record shops of Sydney until I finally found one of their albums.

Dropping the needle onto Fun House changed everything. I’d been waiting for it my whole life but never imagined it could be so good. The essence of my culture, my outlook, my temperament, my disease; all distilled into a 38 minute blast of glorious noise.

Why is Fun House the best album ever? Why are The Stooges the greatest band in the history of rock ‘n’ roll? Why is live rock the pinnacle of performance art?

Here’s why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKhuadIq62o

So now to my award nominees. Probably I should nominate my favourite blogs, but I don’t want to go down the same long and winding path I got lost on trying to choose my favourite music. These are all fine bloggers but my selection criteria was based on the questions I plan to inflict upon them. I wanna see how they handle them. I stuck with people from other countries so I figure I’m safe from physical reprisals.

dhamma footsteps
Tiramit’s readers doubtless consider him sensitive, intelligent, insightful and very, very nice. Yet he and I follow each other’s blogs. If you can judge someone by the company he keeps …

Ordinary girl’s peculiar blog
Moniba puts herself through agonies trying to make sense of her existence. So what could be better than dumping a bucket of nonsense over her? Don’t thank me Moniba. It’s what friends are for.

Ministry of Scepticism
I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but when Fahaad’s alone he likes to lock himself in his room, dress up like Little Miss Sunshine and dance about in front of the mirror singing You Are My Sunshine. So what could be more appropriate than shining a bit of sunshine into his life? It seems to work for Dracula.

thefeatheredsleep
Candice writes poetry. Poetry that reaches out and touches you. She doesn’t ask whether or where you want to be touched.

verseherder
Christybharath’s writing is for the birds. So’s his photography. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was probably being stalked by someone like christy.

Now I get to indulge my cruelty and perversity. After all, it shouldn’t be easy to get a blogging award. You must suffer for your art. And I’m just the guy to ensure you do. So strap yourself to a chair, shine a bright light in your eyes, stuff a water soaked towel in your mouth and answer the questions.

1. Who would you like to be marooned on a desert island with, if the only hope of survival was for one of you to eat the other? Being a vegetarian doesn’t excuse you from answering.

2. After Ethel the Aardvark, who is your favourite quantity surveyor?
No. Scratch that. It’s too hard. There’s so many great ones to choose from. I’ll try something easier.

2. What are you?
There. That should be pretty straightforward. You’ve had your whole life work it out after all. If you need a hint maybe you could ask my guru.

All done! After barely three months. It wasn’t so hard really.

So if anyone else wants to nominate me for a blogging award please go right ahead. But first send me your photo along with a sample of your hair and blood. I’d like to make an effigy in your honour.

P.S. If your browser and internet connection work together like mine do you may not be able to play the last embedded video (under “Here’s why.”) If so you could try clicking this link. Don’t bother if you’re in Pakistan though. Or anywhere else they block youtube.

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From → music, narcissism

10 Comments
  1. And inside he found his favourite pedestrian chicken joke ever. I am so going to use that! Thanks C, I am touched, it’s about time I started doing this ❤

    Like

  2. Should I even accept this award? 😛 Thank you for being such a friend!

    Like

  3. For Fox Sake permalink

    Geez, dude, just when you thought it was safe to come out of the primordial ooze….

    I don’t blawg anymore; my contribution to raising consciousness..

    1. Who would you like to be marooned on a desert island with, if the only hope of survival was for one of you to eat the other?

    So….my only hope of survival is to receive cunnilingus? I’d go with Ivan Lyons.

    2. What are you?

    Alive.

    Like

    • So….my only hope of survival is to receive cunnilingus? I’d go with Ivan Lyons.

      I’m afraid I can’t help you there. He’s currently unavailable. I can put you in touch with Ivan Milat though.

      Alive.

      You really need to get a second opinion. Even among the CAM community Dr Frankenstein’s views are considered somewhat fringe.

      If you are alive, not to worry. There’s plenty of medicos around with a solid track record of curing it.

      Like

  4. For Fox Sake permalink

    Me and my damn lipth….Ivan Lyon. No sssssss…

    Like

    • And here’s me thinking you’d wittily chosen to share Cannibal Island with the author of Someone Is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe and The President Is Coming to Lunch.

      So who is Ivan Lyon?
      The only one I found online was one of the heroes of The Krait who was killed by the Japanese in 1944. Jack Thompson’s character in Spyforce was partly based on him.

      Like

  5. fahaad humayun permalink

    Easiest questions of my life. and I’m actually grateful for the award nomination since I had nothing else to write on.

    Like

    • Oh c’mon Fahaad. All that bile and nothing to say? Surely you could manage something, even if it was just a string of random obscenities.

      Maybe your true vocation isn’t as a blogger at all. Have you tried trolling?

      Liked by 1 person

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